fraser: that doesn't sound right.
me: what do you mean?
fraser: you're not property... (sarcastically) i'll pay two shillings for the girl!
me: (laughing) two shillings? really? where are we?
fraser: three shillings!
we decided against it because it doesn't sit right with us, but that doesn't mean that couples who choose to have those words spoken at their ceremony are wrong to include that very familiar phrase. in fact, i was really touched when a dear friend's mom replied "her father and i do" when the female officiant uttered the question a couple of months ago. my friend's dad passed away a few months before her wedding and it was a wonderful way of including him in the very special occasion.
i'm a big fan of making your own choices and am grateful to live at a time in history when my choices, needs and opinions are as valid as his, especially since we'll be legally bound to each other in about a week. women before me sacrificed themselves in order for women to have the same rights as men today. unfortunately, we're still not there... feminism seems like an odd subject to tackle just days before my wedding but it actually feels appropriate.
it's simple really. feminism is about equality and supporting other people's personal choices. there's always a debate about being a stay-at-home vs a working mom. why? no one questions when dads go to work. in fact, there's an expectation for a man to provide. why? maybe he wants to stay home with the kids and she wants to go back to work. it's up to them. not you. not me. not us... unless, of course, we're the couple in question.
in my ideal world, i'm an award winning actress in demand for my work in film, stage and television, and loving wife and mother to happy, healthy children, while fraser runs our household. i've shared my vision with my future husband whose only concern is not having time to go to the gym. we agreed to hire a nanny and a housekeeper. problem solved.
feminism does not equate man hating. i adore men and am completely in love with one, who may decide he doesn't want to be a stay-at-home husband after all. that's okay! we can always figure out something else keeping in mind what would be best for us and our family when the time comes.
look. i can be as girly as they come. i wear short shorts. i put on make up. i like to feel pretty... i think it's nice that fraser opens the door for me and pays when we go out. i've been the girlfriend who paid for everything and one who didn't ever pay. i pick up our groceries and open doors for him when i get there first. i watch football. domestic violence angers and saddens me. i don't drink beer. i like tequila. fraser doesn't drink at all. i make breakfast for us every morning and do our laundry. i never take out the trash. fraser does a lot of the cleaning and cooks amazing dinners... when asked who wears the pants in our relationship for the newly wed game at my bridal shower, fraser proudly told my friends that we each have a leg in; i said i did after running everything by him. close enough.
i support gay marriage, pro-choice and equally respect stay-at-home moms and women who choose not to have children to be business owners, doctors, hourly employees, teachers, receptionist, chefs, dancers, writers, actors, engineers, yogis, musicians, inventors, bakers, designers, directors, grips, assistants, executives, comics, whatever... i respect and admire women who to do both... the thing is, people doing the same job with the same experience and qualifications should earn the same wage/salary regardless of gender, race, religion and sexual orientation. period.
am i a feminist? abso-fucking-lutely.
am i hyphenating my name because i'm a feminist? hell no.
i'm hyphenating my name because i love my last name and, thanks to the women who fought for gender equality, i have a choice. i'm also marrying a man who supports whatever decision i make. almost makes me want to straight up take his name, which i really like... maybe i will... probably not but whatever i do will be up to me no matter how often i ask for fraser's opinion, which i appreciate and value.
my choice is equal to his.
i am worth as much as him.
our marriage will be a partnership.
hells yeah. i'm a feminist... and i'm gonna look stunning on my wedding day.
i'm a big fan of making your own choices and am grateful to live at a time in history when my choices, needs and opinions are as valid as his, especially since we'll be legally bound to each other in about a week. women before me sacrificed themselves in order for women to have the same rights as men today. unfortunately, we're still not there... feminism seems like an odd subject to tackle just days before my wedding but it actually feels appropriate.
it's simple really. feminism is about equality and supporting other people's personal choices. there's always a debate about being a stay-at-home vs a working mom. why? no one questions when dads go to work. in fact, there's an expectation for a man to provide. why? maybe he wants to stay home with the kids and she wants to go back to work. it's up to them. not you. not me. not us... unless, of course, we're the couple in question.
in my ideal world, i'm an award winning actress in demand for my work in film, stage and television, and loving wife and mother to happy, healthy children, while fraser runs our household. i've shared my vision with my future husband whose only concern is not having time to go to the gym. we agreed to hire a nanny and a housekeeper. problem solved.
feminism does not equate man hating. i adore men and am completely in love with one, who may decide he doesn't want to be a stay-at-home husband after all. that's okay! we can always figure out something else keeping in mind what would be best for us and our family when the time comes.
look. i can be as girly as they come. i wear short shorts. i put on make up. i like to feel pretty... i think it's nice that fraser opens the door for me and pays when we go out. i've been the girlfriend who paid for everything and one who didn't ever pay. i pick up our groceries and open doors for him when i get there first. i watch football. domestic violence angers and saddens me. i don't drink beer. i like tequila. fraser doesn't drink at all. i make breakfast for us every morning and do our laundry. i never take out the trash. fraser does a lot of the cleaning and cooks amazing dinners... when asked who wears the pants in our relationship for the newly wed game at my bridal shower, fraser proudly told my friends that we each have a leg in; i said i did after running everything by him. close enough.
i support gay marriage, pro-choice and equally respect stay-at-home moms and women who choose not to have children to be business owners, doctors, hourly employees, teachers, receptionist, chefs, dancers, writers, actors, engineers, yogis, musicians, inventors, bakers, designers, directors, grips, assistants, executives, comics, whatever... i respect and admire women who to do both... the thing is, people doing the same job with the same experience and qualifications should earn the same wage/salary regardless of gender, race, religion and sexual orientation. period.
am i a feminist? abso-fucking-lutely.
am i hyphenating my name because i'm a feminist? hell no.
i'm hyphenating my name because i love my last name and, thanks to the women who fought for gender equality, i have a choice. i'm also marrying a man who supports whatever decision i make. almost makes me want to straight up take his name, which i really like... maybe i will... probably not but whatever i do will be up to me no matter how often i ask for fraser's opinion, which i appreciate and value.
my choice is equal to his.
i am worth as much as him.
our marriage will be a partnership.
hells yeah. i'm a feminist... and i'm gonna look stunning on my wedding day.
