i've had quite a year since my last birthday and fraser did a great job celebrating me this year. normally, i'd plan a themed gathering for it but, with all the wedding hoopla (bridal shower, engagement party, wedding week), i decided to forgo my birthday party... bad idea. i remember fraser's mom telling him to keep our wedding anniversary and my birthday separate from each other. i agreed with her but didn't take the advice myself. lesson learned.
fraser did everything right. he took the day off from work. we picked up coffee and walked through a farmers market on our way to the beach the morning of my birthday. we sat on the sand facing the pacific. i walked to the water and felt the ocean kiss the the sand under my feet. three things i love all before noon... he made pulled pork sandwiches for lunch and took me to a bakery we've been meaning to try. we ate pastries and laughed until we cried over our own silliness. he bought theatre tickets and sat through a one woman show because i love live theatre. it was awesome. all of it... still. i would've loved the themed gathering i've grown accustomed to.
it's important to celebrate yourself and, what better way to do it, aside for a party, than by giving yourself a gift? here, ladies and gentlemen, is a list of the best gifts i've given myself over the years. often on my birthday but not always... may it encourage you to celebrate your awesomeness.
gym membership. i was twenty-four, in la and no longer taking dance classes or walking all over campus. power walking wasn't cutting it so i joined a gym, where i took step aerobics, salsa and yoga. it also introduced me to spin/indoor cycling, which i fell in love with. i eventually got tired of the same classes and ended my membership. i did a few rounds of p90x... my gym membership was instrumental in keeping me in shape and healthy. i made a habit of working out regularly, which i am grateful for today. i'm all about spin and yoga these days. it feels good to sweat. whatever physical activity gets you going is what you should do. for you.
roth ira. i gave myself two thousand dollars for my twenty-fifth birthday and have been paying myself first since. because i've never had a traditional job, it was important that i set up an individual retirement account. my only regret is not starting one earlier... there's a commercial with three business men eating at a diner. outside a couple of teenage boys are touching the smooth surface of a beautiful classic car. it cuts to the waitress in the diner yelling at the boys to step away from her car and the business men raising their eyebrows at each other... i was that server (except i drive a sensible honda civic); a manager of mine used to say that i was the richest server he knew. i don't do anything (everything is automatically taken out of my checking account and put into various funds for my roth ira, emergency fund and wedding/condo fund) but i do live below my means. i am not writing this to brag. quite the opposite. i'm writing it to let you know that it's possible to prepare for your financial future on any income, especially when it's just you. do it asap. for you.
lasik. an asian girl walked into the restaurant i used to work at wearing a jean skirt and a tshirt. her hair flowed down her back. she wore little or no make up. i told her she looked pretty because i'm a big fan of giving compliments to strangers. she told me she'd just 'rolled out of bed'; i decided to get lasik in that moment. i'd worn glasses that only got thicker in time since middle school. i don't wear makeup. i wanted to roll out of bed and look like that girl did... it cost an arm and a leg because i went to the place where cameron diaz and nicole kidman had theirs done. worth every penny.
bold, gold ring. i love jewelry and was devastated when someone broke into my apartment a few years ago and stole all of my jewelry along with my roommate's. i had a lot of fashion jewelry but also had several of my grandmother's pieces and ones my parents had gifted me. my family and friends have since rebuilt my collection, which consists of pieces similar to ones i used to own... i'd been looking for a ring to represent my transformation over the past couple of years before i met fraser. i wanted to reward myself with a bold piece of jewelry for facing my fears, taking a leap and welcoming change. when bells showed me an inch long, egg shaped rose gold ring with diamonds last spring, i knew i'd finally found it... fraser proposed just weeks after i bought my transformation ring and i was afraid i'd automatically favor my engagement ring. not so. fraser could not have picked a more perfect ring for me, but my transformation ring is something i chose to celebrate my growth. it is equally important, beautiful and meaningful. do not be afraid to invest in anything you love. for you.
permission. to continue to pursue acting. to make time to workout. to quiet my mind with yoga. to eat potato chips then chocolate then potato chips again. to laugh out loud. to call my mom. my sister. any one of my best friends. to say no and not feel guilty about it. to let my body rest. to meet friends for lunch, coffee or a movie. to cry whenever something touches me: a book, a movie, a commercial, whatever... to quit my job. to leave. to start over. to try online dating. to jump into the unknown. to trust my gut and allow myself to fall in love. again. to get married a year from the day we met. to forgo tradition and get married on the beach instead of in church. to have a small wedding. to ask for what i need. or want. to express my anger and frustration. to ask for help. to live in love and gratitude. to do anything. for me... you can do anything. for you.
i never would've given myself any of the gifts i wrote about, or anything else for that matter, without permission. the amazing thing is, you don't need anyone else's permission. just yours... i always ask a handful of people for their opinion, especially when it comes to big decisions, but the choice is ultimately mine to make, which is simultaneously awesome and scary. awesome because i get live the life i choose. scary because i am responsible for whatever happens... that's the rub, i guess. not being able to point a finger and blame someone else if you make a wrong choice. then again, who's to say whether it's right or wrong? give yourself permission to take a chance. maybe your heart will break or maybe it will soar higher than you ever thought possible... if you make a mistake, own it, learn the lesson and move on... be okay with making the same mistake more than once. our heart is sometimes stronger than our minds... ooh. watch out for your ego (that's another blog but be wary of your ego).
give yourself permission to celebrate yourself. at least on your birthday... i try to celebrate my strength, beauty and loving heart every day by being kind to myself. it doesn't have to be a big deal but be aware of what you think of yourself. it is life changing.
i strong. i am beautiful. i am loved.
i am always cared for and supported.
i allow great things to come to me.
i am rich. i have abundance. i am grateful.
i deserve love and an acting career.
go on, beauties. celebrate your awesomeness. permit yourselves... for you.
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